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The dumbest stuff we found at CES 2017

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The dumbest stuff we found at CES 2017

It can’t all be good at CES, and these products … definitely weren’t.

Tinder VR

Tinder thought it’d be a good idea to use CES as a means to make a statement about how technology reduces our ability to make IRL connections.

The company’s mission is “to get people together to have real experiences in the real world,” but it also wanted to make a VR headset. So how do you reconcile those disparate ideas? By annoying everyone with a technology-free “VR headset.”

The Tinder VR headset is essentially two pairs of goggles connected in the middle. When you strap one side of the device to your head and a stranger straps the other side of the device to theirs, you’re forced to gaze into each other’s eyes and suss out the contents of their soul.

Because CES is the best time and place to make a statement about the state of society and genuine communication … cue eye roll

U by Moen

You know what’s better than a shower that turns on unfailingly with hot, pressurize…

It can not all be just right at CES, and those merchandise … surely were not.

Tinder VR

Tinder idea it would be a good suggestion to make use of CES as a way to make a remark about how know-how reduces our skill to make IRL connections.

The corporate's project is "to get other folks in combination to have actual reports in the actual global," nevertheless it additionally sought after to make a VR headset. So how do you reconcile the ones disparate concepts? By way of worrying everybody with a technology-free "VR headset."

The Tinder VR headset is largely two pairs of goggles hooked up within the center. While you strap one aspect of the tool on your head and a stranger straps the opposite aspect of the software to theirs, you are pressured to gaze into each and every different's eyes and suss out the contents in their soul.

As a result of CES is the highest time and position to make a observation concerning the state of society and authentic verbal exchange … cue eye roll

U via Moen

You realize what is higher than a bath that activates unfailingly with scorching, pressurized water? Not anything, however Moen idea it would enhance the bathe anyway.

U via Moen is a "sensible bathe" that guarantees that will help you "bathe like by no means ahead of." If you are questioning what that suggests, it it sounds as if way controlling your bathe with a smartphone app. The app permits you to set a timer in your bathe (as a result of I undoubtedly need my bathe telling me when it is time to get out, now not the opposite direction round), includes a get started and prevent regulate (make sure that your tool is waterproof!), permits you to regulate the temperature so you'll be able to get it good, and notifies you when your bathe has reached the very best preset temperature (as a result of we're all brewing espresso and tea with our bathe water?).

The U via Moen calls for a customized set up that begins at $1200 and the entire thing connects over WiFi. As a result of we all want a WiFi hooked up bathe. We undoubtedly want that. Yep. Def.

Withings Hair Trainer

What do you get while you move a microphone with a hairbrush? I want I had a punchline, however alas, it is the award-winning (as in gained awards) Withings Hair Trainer.

The Withings Hair Trainer is about to hit the marketplace q4 and guarantees to be the way forward for hair care. The use of integrated sensors, the Withings Hair Trainer hairbrush analyzes your hair well being and regimen. It claims to trace the next:

  • Dryness
  • Injury
  • Breakage
  • Tangling
  • Drive & rhythm of brushing
  • Gestures
  • Stroke rely

It tracks all of the ones knowledge issues the use of a microphone that listens to the sound of your hair being brushed, 3-axis load cells that measure the drive of your brushing, an accelerometer and a gyroscope, and conductivity sensors for figuring out if it is brushing dry or rainy hair.

Principally, it is a crap-ton of know-how packed right into a hairbrush that'll inform you you are in reality dangerous at brushing your hair. So if you are into that sorta factor, the Withings Hair Trainer is for you! I'm going to be over right here brushing my hair blissfully unaware of my deficient method.

CMRA

My colleague Cella Lao Rousseau has already shared five reasons why she's fine living in a world without CMRA, and CES gave us a couple of causes extra.

In concept, a wrist-mounted digital camera turns out like a good suggestion, proper? When we went to take a look at the tech at CES, we have been greeted with a prototype software and completely no demo. In reality, there were not any demos to be had all through all of CES.

If there is something we will have to all have discovered via now, it is that devices do not exist till they do (I name it the Crowdfunding Warning), so till I see the item in motion (and the corporate addresses Cella's considerations), it will get the large ol' DUMB stamp.

Very important Vibrating Denims

I imply, want we in point of fact say greater than "vibrating" and "denims" in the similar sentence prior to your eyes get started rolling? Did not assume so.

The Very important Vibrating Denims are supposed to be offering up notifications with a slight buzz … on your pants. To be truthful, there's one use case that makes just a little sense: GPS comments. Similar to Apple Watch, the pants can come up with separate vibrations for left turns and proper turns.

Sadly, the corporate additionally imagines an international the place scholars and workers can obtain notifications from their academics and managers, respectively … of their pants. As a result of humming a subordinate's pants is unquestionably a good suggestion.

(Please excuse me whilst I'm going transfer off the HR alarm.)

Moore USB Force

The Moore USB Pressure claims in an effort to be offering limitless knowledge garage anytime, any place — even if there is not any web connection to be had.

The flash force is meant to hook up with a cloud garage gadget and — because of a unique synthetic intelligence set of rules — it mechanically is aware of what knowledge you wish to have at the software at all occasions and makes positive it is to be had in the community.

Let me kick you a situation: The flash force is 32GB and you will have uploaded 3,200GB of knowledge. You get on an plane and you are on the lookout for a film you edited from a pair years in the past — the inventive AI may have the film in a position for you! You are not looking for web get right of entry to and you do not want to sync.

BWAHA! Nope. I am considering this corporate thinks we're dumb.

GraalPhone

The first dumb factor concerning the Graalphone is that it claims to be coming in past due 2017, however it is only providing up mockups on its website (Crowdfunding Warning, other folks!).

The Graalphone claims to be "the very best synthesis between potency and a laugh," which simply way it is a tablet, a pc, a smartphone, and a 2D and 3-d digital camera. Y'know, no giant.

The tablet and pc includes a 7-inch display, full-on keyboard, Microsoft Home windows, and Android OS. The slide-out smartphone includes a 5-inch display with Android OS. Oh, did we point out the digital camera options 5X optical zoom? That factor zooms proper on outta the casing … err, it might if it have been actual.

I'm going to gladly consume my graal if this factor ever makes it to marketplace.

See anything else silly?

Have been you keeping an eye on the happenings at CES? What is the dumbest factor you noticed?

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